“How do you Deal with Irresponsible People?”
I know we all have had to deal with this at one time or another and it can be frustrating. That’s the reason I researched it to know how to deal with the situation. It too is an emotion we don’t need to have when dealing with horses. We don’t need outside emotional influences. We must not take on responsibility of someone’s irresponsibility.
OK, so what does this have to do with horses, you ask? Read on and you will see how it applies to some with horses and life in general.
We’ve all been there. It could be a friend, somebody we work with, a student we have, a boarder we have-if you board horses, family or a friend. We’ve all had to deal with these people at some time or another. It frustrating as heck. We try to help, we bend over backwards to try and get them involved in something they said they wanted to do but there is no effort on their part. How many of us have been in that position?
Why would I write this on a horse page, you ask? If you have ever been in a position as an instructor, teacher or mentor, you probably have encountered this situation. My goal is to help you understand more and not get too bent out of shape about it. It is not our responsibility to drag these people along. Don’t allow them to bring you down.
We’ve all known people like this; that would take advantage of our good nature. All and all, these irresponsible people are an annoyance to us, the ones that care. I did some research about how to handle Irresponsible people and came up with the following.
First, allow me to share the characteristics of an Irresponsible person.
Irresponsible people are: constantly late; don’t follow instructions or rules; they miss appointments and don’t call; they make drastic uninformed decisions; they create negativity and chaos; they take advantage of friendship.
Here are five ways in which to deal with annoying Irresponsible people:
- 1. Tell them they are being irresponsible. Often times these chronic irresponsible individuals don’t realize the havoc they are causing. It’s not our responsibility to educate these people but it doesn’t mean we can’t point out their irresponsible behaviors. If they get upset they probably know you are right. If I have students that are consistently late, that time is deducted from their lesson. If it is an hour student and they are ten minutes late they got only a fifty minute session. Demand promptness
- 2. Have a backup plan. Despite out best efforts, some people are going to be irresponsible regardless. Whenever you are in a situation, your positive thinking about the outcome and just maybe. Also know that the person could fall through as well. By having a backup plan could save a lot of headache. If someone is notoriously late to your event or for their session, change the time and let them know why. The time they have scheduled isn’t working. Their tardiness is throwing off the rest of the schedule.
- 3. Undermine their involvement. Simply remove them from the equation or any involvement or knowledge of your plans. (I’ve had to do this). Feel their involvement with someone else. Keep your details to a need to know basis. If the irresponsible person(s) finds out, don’t rush to involve them. Cause them to adjust and become more responsible.
- 4. Make them an offer. Try Bribery. I hate to have to resort to this kind of thing but this is what the research said. I don’t like to bribe anyone if they don’t have the gumption to get it themselves. But, this is what the research says.
If we can’t advise the person, avoid their involvement, prepare for their chaos or avoid their involvement, we simply make them an offer they can’t refuse. Simply dangle something in front of them to cause them to want to be involved. Make them want to be involved with the endeavor without making a mess. Set ground rules. Make sure it is something they really want to do.
- 5. Prepare mentally. Simply expect them to be that way. Don’t think the worst of folks, however there are people who are going to do what they are going to do, regardless our best efforts and how many problems they cause. Remove these people from what it is you’re doing. If you can’t prepare yourself to expect the behavior from them and this could limit the negative effect.
Often times, some just don’t get it. They are in the ‘what about me’ mode and don’t care about others or what chaos they are causing. We simply have to move on without these people.
I hope this will help you in a positive way to deal with all types of people. I feel everyone has a responsibility to be responsible.